We welcomed our sweet Sebastian Buckley on November 21st, 2023. He was born gently at home, and his brothers are obsessed with him. I’m still processing my birth story and figuring out how to share it. What has been more pressing on my heart is motherhood and I want to share this with you.
I used to believe that being a physical therapist was “more”than being a mother.
I’m not sure what more means if that’s more impactful or if it just feels more important? I used to believe it gave me more purpose. It was something I was very proud of. I would get so much affirmation and compliments about how I’m changing women’s lives and how special and talented I am. When I was first starting out, it was easy to spend more time being a PT than being a mother in my home. I believed this up until having my second child, but if you would have said this to me at that time, I would have denied it even though the way I was allocating my time was more congruent with me believing that being a physical therapist was more important.
Let’s be real. Motherhood is a thankless job. While there are definitely very sweet moments, there is very little affirmation or instant gratification. Poopy diapers, wiping toddler bottoms, getting snacks, getting yelled at for opening the snacks because they wanted to do it all by themselves, irrational tantrums, sleepless nights, breaking up fights…Does the toddler tell you how much they appreciate you wiping their hiney? Nope. Do the children thank you for your sacrifices of sleep, money, and your whole self for the sake of their existence and well being? Nope, nor should they.
Motherhood is laying your life down for another. I think it’s designed to 👏 make. you. like. Jesus. 👏 and in turn “man finds himself when he offers himself as a sincere gift (Gaudium et Spes).”
It’s easy to drift toward the things that make you feel good, the places you get the most affirmed-even if that’s a service or ministry-but “the better part” that Jesus speaks of in the Gospel is always going to be the children-being there with the children. I was just telling my husband that even though my days are crazy (truly a grocery delivery guy almost called 911 because of the noise he heard in my house when dropping off the groceries 😆), I have a random moment of awe every single day that almost brings me to tears. It’s an awe that can only come from the Holy Spirit because there is definitely not a natural opportunity for that given how wild my house is with 4 boys.
Now, I know in my bones that the children are the better part. I believe it deeply, and I am always assessing, adjusting, and reassessing my life and practice to make my time spent coherent with this belief. Each baby, I always offer the practice up to the Lord, and this 4th time around, He made it clear to me to keep serving in shorter durations away from home. Also, during this postpartum, I felt a palpable love from the Father for mothers. He deeply loves mothers and babies, and what I do for mothers helps them live and love motherhood with more joy which is all for the babies. It’s ALL about the babies! As I return, I’m refreshed in this perspective that this practice and the way I run it is dedicated to babies- my babies and your babies.
As always, living motherhood alongside you, and I’m so very humbled by your trust.
I’ll be available for appointments beginning February 19th, and I’m so excited to be serving in a new space, The Hive Chiropractic and Wellness in Las Colinas, just across the road from my previous office. Please note the address change when booking!